In gratitude I honor life

On a cold rainy Amsterdam morning, I am sat at a quaint Café enjoying a warm cup of tea. After several sleepless nights, I am partaking of the joy and the warmth of such curious aspect of energy in the form of water and herbs mixed in a harmony of force. At the same time noticing the game going on all around me. 
I’m in deep thought, scrutiny and reverence of what to this point is known as my life. Admiring all the thoughts, actions and decisions which have brought me here, to this very poignant moment in my existence. Questions arise, am I happy and what have I done to attain and achieve any level of success in my expression as a happy human?
In my mind, I move through time an space in observation of all that such question as am I happy? Stirred within me. I look in remembrance of the joy I felt as a child and the wonder I experienced moment by moment. Before the purity of my being was taken into a different reaction and action , before the day when my heart would be crashed and torn to pieces over one simple fact ” I was love in the form of a child” which threatened the very existence of those around me. 
I remember the days when the only love received was through my communion with nature, since those around me knew not how to live and love. I reasoned in the knowing I was a unique experience of myself and myself alone in the void of existence, yet always connected to the master of that existence. 
Ah but life in my innocence happened to me fast and furious. I was exposed to many things which molded me into a magnificent force of alienation. The pain always placed before me in the form of a woman, whether this woman be my Mother, aunt, girlfriends, lovers and or wife. 
But I digressed, all life experiences good or bad all according to how I perceived them due to the alienation I became programmed with. All has been a direct blessing in the form of understanding and eventually the release on the hold of such an illusion which kept me hidden in the dark. A darkness of my on voice which got lost in the despair of my own uniqueness, which tore me asunder of my own divinity. 
A treasure in the rough, one of the best descriptions as to who I am. Took me decades to wake up to the understanding of how lost I had become in the psychosis of this world. Also took me to the understanding we are all willing participants of a grand game of life. Creator partaking in a grand experiment of itself. 
Whether lost in the void or lost in the light, I always knew I was being watched over. In essence it was there I found myself and there I realized I was never lost. I realized I was never lost because I was always there and always in the place my own divinity had chosen for me. 
Moving forward, I come to where I seat in observation and as the comings and goings of all this creator beings in the form of humans unfold right before me. I also wonder how often do I partake of the psychosis known as separation. How often do I disconnect and how often do I choose to connect. In service always of the All. 
I look at faces young and old, and they all have one thing in common; they all look lost ! Not one of them had an expression or resonance of joy. Here I was and I realized and understood that now in spite of all that has and is taking place, I have found myself. Yes I have found my truth and my innocence once again. That, makes me happy and that answered my question and I understood with my heart I am happy! 
I am happy with how I have played the game, I am happy of where as a man, father and husband as and as a human of where I stand. Such happiness takes me to deep gratitude and knowing my life will unfold like it was always intended to: In wonderful, miraculous, loving expression of myself. 
The gratitude removes from my heart any sadness I felt for a moment of those around me looking lost. I know they know where they are, as they are where their divinity placed them. 
A weight is lifted off my shoulders as words said the night before are undo. They are undo by the grace held within my own innocence. A grace manifested by the knowing ” I am master of my reality” 
All leads me to say to the one teacher, friend, lover and wife. Thank you, thank you for being where you are and know in your sadness and pain, I am at the risk of sounding mawkishly sentimental I was always next to you. I am next to you now not because I feel obligated or not because I am lost but because my divinity placed me there. My divinity expresses itself in the form of a love so deep, so powerful and so liberating and it was you who helped me find that love.  
You who have taught me to love, and you who awakened the true man in me. As I awakened, I awakened to my true force of love. I now love like only love can love and it is such a shift within me that has opened the door to infinite potential. 
I am infinite potential and I can never and will never be the same. How I laughed and how I loved and even how I reacted will never be there. Who I was perceived as is no more. I am a new expression of my self. It is through my actions I will dispel the illusion and psychosis of a reality of separation. 
Moving through this dimensional reality at the speed of thought I now bring my all to what’s at hand. That being infinite potential and I invite you all reading this to accept whole heartedly such potential. 
I invite you to live your every moment in full accordance of the principal of life. Energy is everything and always evolving. In your daily reality keep on manifesting and decreeing yourself in the form of the mighty I am and dare to say ” I Am Infinite Potential. ” 
I honor you all for being my greatest teachers. I honor all those close to me for holding space. I honor my beloved wife for her strength and perseverance as life moves fast and furious for you. I honor the All. May you be always in divine blessings. 
Cheers!!! 

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